NO WAY IN HELL!

Why should we rearrange our lives for you when you haven't changed? My stepdaughter wants to move back in with us. She wants things to return to the "way they were before." All I can think is NO WAY IN HELL!
She refuses to or can't admit that she did anything wrong in her behaviors before. She runs away from all her problems and doesn't think any of it is her fault. She won't talk to a counselor because "they are only paid to listen.They don't care." Her mother doesn't think she needs to talk to anyone because "every thing's fine." i.e. It doesn't effect her mother.

The kid is miserable and having anxiety issues, because she has no idea how to function in reality. She thinks life is all Jersey Shore and Degrassi, you can say and do whatever you want and have no repercussions from it. She won't take responsibility for her own actions and just expects everyone to accommodate her. She thinks things will be better here, because "all anyone wants to do down there is party and drink." And they don't here? What are we missing?

She thinks we have no clue how hard it is to be a kid. She doesn't realize that we have learned from our mistakes and are trying our best to help her prevent them for herself. All I know is I see a super self absorbed teenager who won't spend 5 minutes a day with her little sister, and has no pics of her four sisters on her social networks. She hasn't talked to E since October and that was only because E was upset and wanted to talk to her. Even then all we got was one word questions/answers- no conversation at all. Her father can't even hold a conversation/discussion with her because she doesn't want to hear the truth. As soon as he says something she doesn't like, "I'm sorry I brought it up, why's it always my fault?"

There is no way she is coming home if she isn't willing to make any changes. We are the parents, she is the child. She is also old enough to realize that the world doesn't revolve around her. She has to know there are consequences for her actions and she can't always get everything she wants. Her mother had to rent a new house so there was even room for J down there. She is counting on the child support to cover those bills. J doesn't care/realize that if she leaves, it means her sisters will be moving AGAIN (over a dozen times in 4 years). She's mad that her ex-stepdad will be moving to Virginia to be near his daughters for joint custody. She doesn't realize that her mom will be getting less in child support if he has the girls half the time. She thinks her mom will be getting more, it doesn't work that way.

Ultimately everything changed as soon as the court custody battle was finalized 4 1/2 years ago, and she knew she was safe, where she wanted to be. Then E was born and all of a sudden she had to share us and we couldn't/wouldn't just jump and take her somewhere. (I think we did pretty good at going out often enough.) You would think as someone who had two little sisters at that time already she would have understood that a baby's schedule is very important. Ultimately she doesn't need to be running somewhere every night of the week. She should be home doing her homework and working on getting good grades so she can even get into a post secondary school.

Even if she did come back to live with us, what happens when I get pregnant again? After finding out that one of the times she was supposed to be watching E (within the last two summers) that E got outside the house and J didn't know it. The neighbors saw J looking all panicked and realized that E was outside when she shouldn't have been. The neighbors made sure she didn't go in the street (was playing in her sandbox), but ultimately how am I supposed to trust her to help out when she has already proven that she can't be trusted?

Again, life doesn't revolve around her. She doesn't see the big picture and doesn't think outside of herself. She has 1 1/2 years before she is on her own, and she has burned a lot of her bridges. The real world is gonna hurt. Bad.